How to make children brave and independent: US experts Dr. Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons have developed an extraordinary method to overcome fears

The guidebook “ My Anxious Child ” helps families to recognize patterns that promote anxiety and to bring about positive changes. Anxious children and their parents learn new ways of thinking and behaving to break the cycle of worry.

When fears dominate everyday life

Worrying about your own children is typical for all parents. And it is also normal for children to be afraid of all sorts of things - to a certain extent. But what do you do with a child who has a stomachache every morning when they have to go to school? If they see everything and everyone as a threat, refuse to do any activity, or are dominated by compulsions and outbursts of anger? Fears among children and young people have not only been an issue since Corona, but they have spread like an epidemic since then. Unfortunately, in their attempt to help, many parents and experts even reinforce the defensive and avoidance behavior of the affected children.

Dr. Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons , LICSW, have been successfully treating anxiety disorders for decades. In their book, which has already sold over 90,000 copies in the USA, they present their unconventional and proven method to help children and teenagers overcome fears, worries and phobias and ultimately become more resilient, independent and happier.

The spread of fear

In a time of crisis and disaster, anxiety is widespread. Surveys show that up to 20 percent of all children have an anxiety disorder, and the number is increasing. But even without such a diagnosis, almost all adolescents experience anxiety. Certain factors - genetic disposition, temperament and stressful situations - increase the risk of developing anxiety. Studies have shown that children can even learn to worry constantly from their parents, even though their parents are actually only trying to help.

The usual reactions to anxious and frightened children - such as encouragement and compromise - can lead to them becoming even more anxious. If children do not learn to tolerate uncertainty and discomfort, but experience that their excessive anxiety is accepted, evasive behavior sets in, which works wonderfully - from the perspective of anxiety. Avoidance may be the perfect solution in the short term, but in the long term the anxiety gets worse and new problems arise: untreated anxiety in children paves the way for depression in adolescents and adults.

Independence means acting courageously

In their book, psychologist Dr. Reid Wilson and psychotherapist Lynn Lyons explain the problems of common approaches and show how parents can deal with avoidance behavior: "Children and young people have to overcome their doubts on their own, because behind them lies a future full of adventure. Children need a plan. And then they have to develop their own plans."

They show how worries gain control over the life of the child (and that of the parents!) and how families unconsciously adopt patterns that make worries even worse. Instead, they offer concrete tips and exercises to help children learn to endure unpleasant feelings such as anger and sadness. According to the experts, the parents' job is to create an atmosphere that encourages children to make decisions, develop their own opinions and standpoints, and become independent. In order for anxious children to become independent, they must acquire a special skill: the willingness to act "courageously", i.e. to tackle a supposedly tricky situation instead of avoiding it.

Book tip:
Dr. Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons: My anxious child . Break the cycle of worry in 7 steps and raise brave, independent children. The tried and tested method of anxiety experts. Includes download link to " Casey's Guide " for children and young people. Mankau Verlag, 1st edition October 2023, paperback 13.5 x 21.5 cm, 238 pp. and PDF e-book "Casey's Guide for Children and Young People", 151 pp., ISBN 978-3-86374-697-1, 22.00 euros (D) | 22.70 euros (A)

Link recommendations:
More information about the book “My anxious child”
To the reading sample in PDF format
More about author Dr. Reid Wilson
More about author Lynn Lyons, LICSW
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