Paths to the dream child: Namiah Bauer accompanies women and men during the period of wanting to have children

The time when she wanted to have children was a physically and mentally demanding time that pushed Namiah Bauer to her limits. And at the same time it triggered the biggest change in her life - opening up to spirituality. Her story helps to change your perspective and make your own world bigger.

Desired babies everywhere…

The tabloids feed this feeling every day: there are the beautiful, stylish celebrities, the women from the royal families who have found their dream prince and whose love is now crowned with a baby. The pregnant colleague you see every day in the office, friends who get pregnant one after the other. Everyone is happy and the whole world is delighted... Namiah Bauer once had a career in the fashion industry and lived a life in the fast lane. But she was not happy. It was only with her two children that peace and happiness came into her life.

At the same time, she experienced deep sadness when her wish for a third child was not fulfilled. Her path to having the child she wanted became her passion: today she works with dedication as a fertility counselor and helps women to ensure that their longing for a child no longer remains unfulfilled. "Leap of joy. How to make it easier to get the child you want" which was first published on a self-publishing platform with the help of crowdfunding combines the insights from her work with her story. The practical recommendations and exercises in the individual chapters are based on her own experience as well as the experiences of numerous women and men who want children.

Time for change

If you have an unfulfilled desire to have children, you cannot avoid dealing with the medical facts - but for the fertility counselor there is a finer level that is initially still foreign but now wants to be discovered. One's own birth, the arrival in life, is crucial for how rooted someone is in the earth and how great their basic trust is.

Birth trauma, caesarean section, vacuum extraction, forceps delivery or separation from the mother after birth are reflected in one's own biography. Fears in all forms, lack of love and addictions are often the result. The trauma can become embedded in the body, often in the spine, and unconsciously block the path to the desired child. Reproductive medicine quickly becomes the saving anchor here, and suddenly the responsibility for the desired baby is in the hands of strangers. The women go to great lengths to achieve their desire for a child. Everything is tried, nothing is left out - but the inner feelings are completely forgotten.

Turning the wait for the desired child into a joyful and pleasurable time would be one way to get out of the frustration, but it also requires a willingness to change: "The desire to have children is an opportunity to change life, to experience it anew, to look at what you have been running away from until now."

Answers to never asked questions

Although the topic is now socially accepted, the discussion focuses almost exclusively on women. Men are still neglected and are left alone with their feelings. Unfulfilled desire to have children is simply not a topic for a men's evening, football club or among colleagues. Getting pregnant is often equated with frequent and good sex - "then it will work at some point". But all couples who want children know that this is not the case.

"If the man is ready to talk, a real torrent of emotion often breaks out of him. He can finally say that the sight of pregnant women and strollers torments him too, and that family celebrations with children give him a stab in the chest that makes him feel like a failure," says Namiah Bauer from her own experience. The men also never get to enjoy the physical unity with the child that their wives experience.

That is why the fertility counselor was so brave and did an interview with her husband in which he answered questions that had never been asked before: "If I could start over again, I would talk [...] or I would get inspiration for further development. To come back to myself, to find myself and to become aware of my true strength" - an insight that can also encourage other "wish fathers".

Book tip:
Namiah Beatrix Bauer: Leap of joy. How to make it easier for your dream child to come to you. Mankau Verlag 2019, paperback 13.5 x 21.5 cm, 206 pages, 16.95 euros (D) / 17.50 euros (A), ISBN 978-3-86374-512-7.

Link recommendations:
More information about the book "Leap of Joy. How to make it easier for your dream child to come to you"
To the reading sample in PDF format
More about the author Namiah Beatrix Bauer
To the Internet forum with Namiah Beatrix Bauer