Interview with Namiah Bauer: “... and from then on it was clear: I would become a fertility counselor”

"Couples often have an image of a sweet baby in their heads, which they are already holding in their arms. But they tend to forget that life begins much earlier. I try to convey to couples who want to have children that this baby is a child's soul, a delicate light that is searching for its way from heaven to earth. This soul needs a connection to its parents." Namiah Beatrix Bauer , author of the advice book "Leap of Joy. How to make it easier for your dream child to come to you" , talks about her own life path, her work as a fertility counselor and the pain that images of happy, beautiful and successful pregnant women can trigger in any woman who wants to have children.

For many women and couples, the unfulfilled desire to have children is an extremely stressful situation. Today, you pass on your personal experiences to those affected as a fertility counselor. How did you come to this calling?

Namiah Bauer: I can remember very well the moment when I couldn't sleep because I was so upset and googled "desire to have children" on my computer. A whole new world opened up before me because, as a mother of two children, I had no idea that millions of women were waiting for their babies like me. In a matter of seconds, I felt like I had been struck by lightning and from then on I knew: I would become a fertility counselor. This vision never left me, even though I myself lived for many years with an unfulfilled desire to have children. At the beginning, I had no idea how I would ever learn this profession. I became a searcher for training that didn't exist. And ultimately, over the years, I "grew into" being a fertility counselor - a long road with many ups and downs. Today, I am overjoyed to have found this fulfilling job.

You support women who are trying to have children, but also those who are grieving after miscarriages and stillbirths. Where does the strength come from to be able to encourage others in such life crises?

Namiah Bauer: It is my own experiences and losses that give me the strength to do this work. In addition, my spiritual perspective helps me not to see death as something final - it is less serious and it is easier for me to find the right words for those who are grieving. Nevertheless, I remember my fear of talking about death. Until one day it dawned on me: birth and death belong together. I cannot say yes to one and reject the unpleasant. My ability to communicate with children's souls and pass on their messages is a great help to me in the grieving process. On a soul level, I bring mothers back into contact with their child. These encounters are very healing and the women learn to accept the loss.

Almost every day, tabloid magazines report on celebrities or princesses and their offspring. Successful life planning seems to include not only a dream job and a perfect partner, but also the joy of having a baby. In your opinion, what are the causes and consequences of this social pressure to perform?

Namiah Bauer: The images of happy, beautiful and successful pregnant women can send any woman who wants to have children into a complete crisis. A piercing pain - a mixture of envy, anger and sadness - that spreads from the heart throughout the body. The result is that the desire to have children moves more and more into the head and is controlled from there. The women lose touch with their bodies, their female self-confidence sinks to zero and gives way to the feeling of having failed as a woman. From month to month the suffering increases and a dark shadow falls over the joy of life. This in turn causes many couples to decide very quickly on a fertility clinic.

If you have an unfulfilled desire to have children, you cannot avoid dealing with the medical facts - but the emotional and spiritual dimension is often neglected. What is necessary for the desired child to find its parents?

Namiah Bauer: Couples often have the image of a sweet baby in their heads, which they are already holding in their arms. But they tend to forget that life begins much earlier. I try to convey to couples who want to have children that this baby is a child's soul, a delicate light that is searching for its way from heaven to earth. This soul needs a connection to its parents. But that only works if the parents go within and feel with their hearts. This connection of love gives the soul trust, and this makes the journey to the parents easier. Another important aspect is to look at the physical level and let out the pent-up emotions. This can also mean screaming out all the anger and becoming free to start anew.

Although the topic is now socially accepted, the discussion focuses almost exclusively on women. Men are still neglected and are left alone with their feelings. What experiences have you had in your work with the "wish fathers"?

Namiah Bauer: First of all, so far no man has contacted me of his own accord for individual counseling. The women go out and look for help. They feel responsible because, after all, their bodies are not "functioning". The men prefer to stay at home and sort out their desire to have children themselves. I experience this again and again. However, when a man finds his way to me, he is extremely grateful that he finally has space - that he can talk everything out and ask questions. The intended fathers are also happy to adopt tips for everyday life that the women bring home from my coaching. For example, one man always lit a tea light for the child's soul during the transfer in the fertility clinic.

It is your wish that reproductive medicine, alternative methods and the spiritual world will unite for a common goal. What has been achieved so far with this holistic vision?

Namiah Bauer: At the beginning, it was actually just a vision to work with couples who go to a fertility clinic. Or to support a clinic with my work and find experts from a wide range of fields to come together for the desired children. It's been a long road - I was usually met with rejection when I spoke of a new perspective on the desire to have children. Looking back, I would say it was an inner growth process that allows me to speak courageously about the soul world today. Today, I am particularly pleased that many couples who have decided on artificial insemination are coming to me. Over time, a network has grown up around me that includes therapists and alternative practitioners who take a holistic view of the desire to have children. And I am sure that it will continue to grow and that cooperation will become more and more important in the future.

Book tip:
Namiah Beatrix Bauer: Leap of joy. How to make it easier for your dream child to come to you. Mankau Verlag 2019, paperback 13.5 x 21.5 cm, 206 pages, 16.95 euros (D) / 17.50 euros (A), ISBN 978-3-86374-512-7.

Link recommendations:
More information about the book "Leap of Joy. How to make it easier for your dream child to come to you"
To the reading sample in PDF format
More about the author Namiah Beatrix Bauer
To the Internet forum with Namiah Beatrix Bauer